Discovering Nicola - Clare Ashton

Thoughts about Rubik’s Cubes

In 1980, a toy, the Rubik’s Cube, was placed on the shelves in every toy store in the world. It went on to be both a delight and a germ of infuriation for many years after. If you’re not sure of the product, the aim is to twist the cube around to make all the colours match on each side.

I make this point because in ‘Discovering Nicola’, Nicola Albright KC is the living embodiment of the lines on a Rubik’s Cube. Not the colours. The colours are merely distractions as she strides through life. Whenever she comes up against a problem, she simply pivots, changes direction, contemplates the conundrum and solves it from that new point of view. Done. Onwards.

But just as when you play with those infernal cubes, there is a moment when you’re stuck and you can’t pivot in any direction. All that’s left is an impenetrable wall that you have to face at that moment. 

Geeta Sachdeva is one such moment where Nicola has twisted and turned but has never been able to find the answer. Simply because Nicola has admired, actually she’s been in love with, Geeta for fifteen years.

Nicola says that she:

“had seen crushes fade in other people's eyes. Never hers. She didn’t bother with yearning after people.”

Ha ha ha. Sure. 

There’s that song, “500 miles.”

Nicola would walk 500 miles for Geeta. She has done so metaphorically for Geeta for all those years, without Geeta knowing and Nicola convincing herself not to know and there’s all of that knowing and not-knowing. 500 miles.

“Fifteen years of it quietly clawing at her conscience, tearing holes in her certainty, ripping doubts in her convictions, making her tetchy. And now, after time together, it plainly laughed in her face. “Mayday, mayday.””

In this novel, we are witness to fabulous bickering, where they infuriate each other. There is some fantastic banter. 

““This is a ferociously bad photo and I’m embarrassed for you.” And Geeta looked like she might kill her.”

We come to see that Geeta and Nicola complement each other beautifully despite their different movements through life.

Geeta herself isn’t a neat and tidy Rubik’s cube, however the one she built for her family is. And this is only because she carefully peels off the coloured stickers and puts them in the finished spots simply so she can create comfort for those around her. Geeta finds that with her celebration of others, there is no room for a celebration of herself. A celebration by herself. With her husband moving on, her friends all so busy, and the only regular visitor being her mother’s yoga group, Geeta finds too much space can be claustrophobic and lonely.

She also is not aware of Nicola Albright’s unrequited love, which is why their burgeoning friendship is so wonderful to witness. We know what they don’t. We know what Nicola refuses to give words to.

And the Nicola Rubik’s Cube is thrown into chaos as she starts to see the coloured squares, not just the lines. All those coloured squares, like her daughter, her colleagues, her perspective of her ex-husband, her personal history: all those sudden bright squares that she is compelled to reflect upon. By stopping to listen and observe and be vividly present, Nicola becomes more. More Nicola. Discovered.

“There you are.”

The ending is gorgeous. No spoilers, but all the characters study an amazing, beautiful metaphorical cube where all the coloured squares line up and everyone nods and says, “We made that.”

In 'Discovering Nicola', Ashton takes us along, as she does, hand tucked into elbow, for a richly-written story that breathes and sighs and weeps and laughs. And beautifully completes the Oxford Romance series.

In this final book, we discover Nicola just as much as she finds herself.